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How can you tell that an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

Footprints in the butter.

3     → Joke


A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driver's license.

The motorist digs around in her purse but can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home, officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?"

The motorist searches her purse again and finds a pocket mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself."

The cop says, "Let me see." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I'd known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have pulled you over."

3     → Joke


Three blonde friends die together in a car wreck. They find themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He warns them that before they can enter heaven, they have to tell him what Easter is about.

The first blonde says, "Easter is a holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."

"Nooooo," groans St. Peter. "You don't get in."

The second blonde says, "Easter is the holiday where we decorate a tree with pretty ornaments and give each other presents."

"Nooooo," groans St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."

The third blonde says, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with his disciples, he was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified him on a cross. After he died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."

"Very good!" says St. Peter.

But the blonde continues. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of winter."

8     → Joke


A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are interviewing for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.

First, the panel of scientists asks the brunette, "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you choose and why?" She answers promptly, "I would go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."

Next, the panel asks the redhead the same question. Without any hesitation, she replies, "I'd like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings."

Finally, the NASA scientists ask the blonde the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. After pondering for several minutes, she finally answers, "I would go to the sun."

Several scientists suppress a laugh, but the lead interviewer, trying to take the blonde seriously, explains, "Well, if you went to the sun, you'd burn to death almost instantaneously."

The blond smirks and puts her hands on her hips. "Don't be stupid! I'd go at night!"

7     → Joke


What is the best revenge when another woman steals your husband?

Let her keep him.

1     → Joke






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