12 jokes about neighbors
51 brace jokes
Mom took Little Johnny
to the doctor
for lacerations on his penis
Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"
Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl
, Susie. Her braces
are too darned sharp."
54 sex jokes
The 5 worst things about being a penis
1. You have a hole in your head.
2. Your best friend is a cunt.
3. Your next door neighbors are 2 nuts and an asshole.
4. Every time you get excited you throw up.
5. You always are wearing a collar.
40 sex jokes
was having problems with premature ejaculation
so he decided to go to the doctor
. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ...
In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol
. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife.
At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?". The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol my wife shit
on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
21 blowjob jokes
A boy takes his girlfriend
home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No!! Someone may see – a relative, a neighbor ..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up ..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie ... I know you'd like it, too ..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love ... Don't be like that ..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister
shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad
says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"
30 sheep jokesNext page Jokesneighbor sayings
This Scottish farmer
walks into the neighborhood pub
, and orders a whiskey
"Ye see that fence over there?" he says to the bartender. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts by me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me 'McGregor the Fence-Builder?' No..."
He gulps down the whiskey and orders another. "Ye see that pier on the loch?" He continues, "Ah built it me ownself, too. Swam oot into the loch to lay the foondations, laid doon every single board! But do they call me 'McGregor the Pier-Builder?' No."
"But ye fuck