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Name jokes

42 jokes about names



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Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions", he observed.

To the first mother he said, "You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second mom, "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third mom, "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on Dick, we're leaving."

10     obsession jokes


Teacher: "Simon, can you spell your name backwards?"

Simon: "No Mis!"

1     simon jokes


A senior citizen visits his doctor for a routine check-up and everything seems fine. The doctor asks him about his sex life.

"Well ..." the man drawled, "not bad at all to be honest. The wife ain't all that interested anymore, so I just cruise around. In the past week I was able to pick-up and bed at least three girls, none of whom were over thirty years old."

"My goodness Frank, and at your age too." the doctor said. "I hope you took at least some precautions."

"Yep. I may be old, but I ain't senile yet doc. I gave them all a phony name."

34     sex jokes


Why do they call it PMS?

Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.

40     PMS jokes


Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death ... we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

29     ghost jokes






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