Naked - 29 jokes
17 → JokeProposal
, a Frenchman
and a Russian
are viewing a painting
and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Briton "They must be British
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French
No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise
. They are Russian."
A lady is throwing a party where each guest shows up as their favorite emotion. A guest arrives dressed in green. "Envy!" she says, and lets him in.4 → Joke
A lady comes dressed in red. She says: "Anger!" and lets her in.
Two naked guys walk up to the front door. One guy is holding a bowl of pudding with his penis stuck in it, and the other guy has his penis in a hollowed-out pear.
"Wait a minute," she says to them. "This is supposed to be an emotion party!"
The first guy says: "Yeah, and I'm fucking dis-custard."
The second guy says: "And I'm deep in dis-pear."
5 → JokeProposal
The following is a (supposedly) true story, as seen by millions of viewers on a Spanish T.V. Channel:
of a teenage girl decided to put their daughter's name forward for a surprise game show. She idolized teen-age pop star Ricky Martin, and they arranged for TV
cameras to be placed throughout the house. The house was then left empty with Ricky Martin hidden in the wardrobe in the girl's bedroom - all set to give the daughter a wonderful surprise.
However, upon returning home from school and finding the house empty, the daughter made her way down to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and removed a tin of pate
- at this stage the live TV audience is wondering, "What the hell is going on?"
She then went back upstairs to her bedroom where she proceeded to remove all her clothes and spread pate all over her triangle of womanhood (at this stage Ricky Martin is still hidden inside the wardrobe, and half of Spain is seeing a young girl stark naked on the bed with pate all over her crotch).
As if the parents were not shocked enough by this, the daughter then calls the family dog
, who obediently trots up the stairs and settles down to his favorite meal of "pate on a bed of seaweed". At this stage the order is given to cut the broadcast, leaving a very embarrassed set of parents in front of a live studio audience! Consequently, sales of tinned pate have rocketed.
Oprah went to her psychiatrist. The guy was sort of unconventional and sometimes told her to do bizarre things. Today he told her to strip down naked and get on all fours in his office. She complied. He then told her to crawl on over under the window near his plant. She wondered why, but did it. He then asked her to crawl over near the corner by his book shelf, which she did. After he kept telling her to crawl naked in various places in his office and her knees were getting rug burns, she finally asked him, "Doctor, is this some sort of new therapy?" He said, "No Oprah, it's just that I'm getting a new brown leather couch tomorrow and I want to see where I should put it." ~ I hates Bill Gates0 → Joke
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