Naked - 28 jokes
31 woman jokes
Why do men
they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs
chase cars they have no intention of driving
33 sex jokes
. He decides to stop and ask for directions at a farm
Before he knocks on the door, he saw in the window an old, naked couple
. The wife was pulling her breasts, and the husband was jerking off. Horrified, the man runs across the street to another house.
The homeowner tells the man, "They're deaf
. She's saying 'Milk the cows,' and he's saying 'Go fuck
29 money jokes
A man and his wife
are in the shower
together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door.
In walks her husband’s friend Ben. The woman
tells him her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I’ll give it to you if you’ll open your bathrobe for me." She’s offended, but really needs the money
so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up again. Ben gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, "I have another $400 in my other pocket. I’ll give it to you if you let me touch your breasts
." Now she’s really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a quick feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door.
Going back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty.
"Who was that?" the husband asks.
"Oh, that was just Ben," the wife answers.
"Ben?" the husband says. "That son of a bitch owes me 800 bucks!"
33 sex jokes
Dianne goes to the doctor
, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."
The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.
"Well, what is it?" he asks.
"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies. "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."
The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Is your boyfriend
blushes and says, "Well, actually he is."
"That's the problem," the doctor says. "Tell him his earrings
aren't real gold."
16 bike jokesNext page Jokesnaked sayings
Two engineering students
meet on campus one day.
The first engineer
calls out to the other, "Hey nice bike
! Where did you get it?"
"Well," replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young coed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes
, and says 'You can have anything you want!'"
"Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."