Naked - 28 jokes
date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed - with alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later, each of the grooms buddies received the following note:
"Dear Friends, we didn't mind the bed slats being sawed. The electric shock was only a minor setback. But I swear by God Almighty, I'm going to kill whoever put novocaine
in the condom
Am I more likely to get pregnant
if my husband
rather than briefs?
Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.
A man and his wife
are in the shower
together when the doorbell rings. The wife puts on a robe and goes down to answer the door.
In walks her husband’s friend Ben. The woman
tells him her husband’s in the shower and asks if he can come back later. Instead, Ben steps in and quietly says, "I have $400 in my pocket. I’ll give it to you if you’ll open your bathrobe for me." She’s offended, but really needs the money
so she agrees, opens her robe, and lets Ben have a quick peek before doing it up again. Ben gives her the $400, and she opens the door for him to leave, but he says, "I have another $400 in my other pocket. I’ll give it to you if you let me touch your breasts
." Now she’s really mortified, but again, she needs the money, so she undoes her robe and lets him have a quick feel. Taking the other $400 from him, she lets him out the door.
Going back upstairs, she gets back in the shower with her husband, feeling a little bit guilty.
"Who was that?" the husband asks.
"Oh, that was just Ben," the wife answers.
"Ben?" the husband says. "That son of a bitch owes me 800 bucks!"
is doing yard work and his wife
is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake
. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?"
She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye
, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The wife is not sure and says, "What?" The man repeats his gestures, mouthing "EYE KNEE - THE RAKE."
The wife replies that she understands and signals back. She first points to her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her butt, and finally to her crotch.
Well, there is no way in hell the man can even come close on that one. Exasperated, he goes upstairs and asks her "What in the heck was that?"
She replies, "EYE - LEFT TIT
- BEHIND - THE BUSH"
Why do men
they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs
chase cars they have no intention of driving
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