Music jokes

What's the definition of a minor second?

Two violists playing in unison.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a violist?

Vibrato.

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?

Who cares?

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

1) The viola burns longer.
2) The viola holds more beer.
3) You can tune the violin.

Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?

Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.