5 jokes about mummies
42 blonde jokes
girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school
everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?"
"Yes dear it does."
The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?"
"Yes dear it does."
The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical excercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humungous pair of DD breasts
. "Is it because I am special mummy?"
"No dear it's because you are 25."
18 sex jokes
Little Johny asked her mummy: "Mum are little birds
made of metal?"
Mummy: "Of course not darling, why do you ask?"
"'I heard daddy saying he'd like to screw the arse of the bird next door!"
49 cat jokes
Teacher: "Johnny why is your cat
at school today?"
John (crying): "I heard the postman tell my mummy when the kid goes to school I'm going to eat your fuckin pussy
8 cake jokes
A little girl and her mother were walking through the park. One day they saw two teenagers having sex
on a bench.
The little girl asked: "Mummy, what are they doing?"
The mother hesitates then quickly replies: "Ummm they are making cakes
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?"
Shocked, the mother asks: "How do you know?"
She says: "Because I licked the icing
off the sofa!"
28 lemon jokes Jokes
: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon
have a beak?"Mum
: "No it doesn't my son."
Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary
that I squeezed ..."