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Mother jokes

108 jokes about mothers



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Yo momma is so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.

22     → Joke


Yo momma is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

20     → Joke


Yo momma is so dumb she threw a stone at the ground and missed.

13     → Joke


Yo momma is so poor, I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "3rd tree to your right."

19     → Joke


The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... No."

"Second, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheel chair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was cut off.

"Third, that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea ..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "... And I don't give any money to them, so why should I give any to you?!?"

17     → Joke



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