Mother jokes

110 jokes about mothers


Yo momma is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

33     yo momma jokes

Yo momma is so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.

35     yo momma jokes

Yo momma is so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.

29     yo momma jokes

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... No."

"Second, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheel chair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was cut off.

"Third, that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea ..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "... And I don't give any money to them, so why should I give any to you?!?"

24     lawyer jokes

Yo momma is so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.

29     yo momma jokes

Next page    Jokes

mother sayings