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Mother jokes

109 jokes about mothers



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Teacher: "Where does your mother come from?"

Little Johnny: "Alaska!"

Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself!"

2     Little Johnny jokes


A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry." The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

''That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The mother replies, "I didn't like her!"

1     marrying jokes


Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."

Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"

Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."

Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"

10     Little Johnny jokes


Little Johny asked her mummy: "Mum are little birds made of metal?"

Mummy: "Of course not darling, why do you ask?"

"'I heard daddy saying he'd like to screw the arse of the bird next door!"

18     sex jokes


One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.

"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."

Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says: "Thanks, I only need one copy."

15     boss jokes






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