is at the dinner table. The son
asks his father
, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions."
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter
so the daughter asked, "Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes - dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."
Dr. Phil was conducting a therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions
", he observed.
To the first mother he said, "You are so obsessed with eating you've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom, "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name
He turns to the third mom, "Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on Dick, we're leaving."