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Mother jokes

115 jokes about mothers



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Little Monster: "I hate my teacher."

Mother Monster: "Well, then just eat your salad, dear!"

13     → Joke


Proposal

Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."

Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"

Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History."

Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"

3     → Joke


One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.

"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."

Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says: "Thanks, I only need one copy."

12     → Joke


Little Johny asked her mummy: "Mum are little birds made of metal?"

Mummy: "Of course not darling, why do you ask?"

"'I heard daddy saying he'd like to screw the arse of the bird next door!"

13     → Joke


A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom is taken by surprise and says. "Oh ... well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The boy says, "That won't work."

His mom says, "Why?"

The boy replies. "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!"

82     → Joke


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