115 jokes about mothers
64 → Joke
came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning
and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"
The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike
! I need a bike!"
17 → Joke
is so fat
, when she gets on the scale
it says "To be continued."
17 → Joke
comes home from his first day at school
. Mother asks, "What did you learn
The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."
14 → Joke
, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner
with my mother-in-law
and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow
, you have completely ruined my life'."
16 → Joke
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses
bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair
at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems ok, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the old
woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart