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Morning jokes

64 jokes about mornings



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This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.

52     → Joke


What does a blonde do with her asshole in the morning?

Pack his lunch and send him to work.

53     → Joke


Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?

She wants to be the first lady.

20     → Joke


Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?

Because they don't have balls to scratch.

41     → Joke


Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

Woman: "Unfertilized."

21     → Joke


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