| Sex · Money · Gorillas · Animals A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals cages. Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright.
So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Mike was approached with a proposition: "Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred bucks?" Mike showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."
The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.
"Well," said Mike, "you've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks." |
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| | Shopping · Husbands · Women · Money · TV · Men "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him." |
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| Lawyers · Money · Questions A man went into a lawyer's office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer's office.
The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, "Can you tell me how much you charge?"
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions."
"Don't you think that's an awful lot of money to answer three questions?"
"Yes it is", answered the lawyer, "What's your third question?" |
· Details | Lawyers · Money · Idiots · Dads · LawsuitsA young lawyer who had taken over his father's practice rushed home totally elated.
"Dad, listen, you aren't going to believe this," he said to his father. "I've finally settled that old Whitmore suit."
"Settled it!" bellowed his father. "You bumbling idiot! We've been living off of that money for over five years now!" |
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