Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."31 Lawyer Jokes
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."
A man bursts into his house and yells, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!"25 Lottery Jokes
She says, "Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
He replies, "I don't care ... Just get the hell out!"
A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.36 Cheating Jokes
The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.
The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.
The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral.20 Lawyer Jokes
The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea - go and bury 20 more of them."
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money.10 Lawyer JokesNext page JokesMoney Sayings
The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers ... we had $100 when we broke in!"