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A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger.

"I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life."

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money

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

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money

Talent does what it can, genius what it must.

I do what I get paid to do.

9    

money

woman,watering
A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with $2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer.

The husband said I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer.

The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said "I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.

The husband replied" Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

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money
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral.

The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.

"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea - go and bury 20 more of them."

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