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Mirror jokes

7 jokes about mirrors



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A man stands in front of the mirror and says to his wife: "Everytime I look at myself, I get a hard-on!"

Wife replies: "That's because you look like a cunt!"

37     → Joke


A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash ... and then his legs fall off!

46     → Joke


According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators ...

42     → Joke


Proposal

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment ..."

The husband replies: "Your eyesight's damn Perfect."

3     → Joke


Proposal

A man is browsing an antique shop when he sees a striking brass rat. He ask the owner how much. He says, "$100, but you can't return it! It's been returned twice and I don't want to see it again." The man pays the money and walks to his car. He sees a rat scurry under his foot. As he drives along, he notices a few more rats scurrying along behind his car. As he continues, he looks in his rear-view mirror and sees more and more rats following after him. He floors it and the rats begin to catch up, getting more and more numerous. Finally, he drives over a bridge and throws the brass rat over the side, watching as the army of rats follow the statue into the churning river below. The man drives back to the antique shop. The owner sees him enter and says, "I told you, no returns on that brass rat!" The man says to the owner, "No, no, I don't want to return it. I was just wondering if you had a brass lawyer?"     ~ Nick OTine

2     → Joke


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