A little girl finds her dog dead with his legs in the air and she asks her dad why it's like that.1
Dad says: "It has died and it's like that so jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven."
The next day girl says to dad: "Mom nearly died today. She was on her back with her legs in the air shouting: 'Oh Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming and if the milkman hadn't been holding her down we would have lost her for sure!"
and a baby
come into the doctor
's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast
fed or on the bottle?"
"Oh ... he is breast fed!", replied the woman.
"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.
She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.
The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says: "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"
The woman with a wry grin on her face responds: "Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm sure glad I brought him in!"
What's a perfect breakfast
for a woman
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband
is on the back of the milk carton.
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says: "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow."4
Then he grabs her pussy and says: "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens."
She turns to him smiles, grabs his dick and says: "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother!"