19 jokes about microsoft
29 → Joke
The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck
is probably the day they start making vacuum
16 → Joke
They say when you play that Microsoft CD
backward you can hear satanic messages ... but that's nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windows
25 → Joke
is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane
with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle
airport. There is fog
so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous. At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: "Hey, where am I?". The solitary office worker replies: "You're in an airplane
.". The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport's runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it. "Elementary," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees."
13 → Joke
How many Microsoft executives
does it take to change a light bulb?
1) 1001. One to install the new bulb, plus one thousand lawyers
to assert intellectual property rights over every light bulb ever invented.
2) Microsoft doesn't change light bulbs. It declares Darkness
(TM) the new standard.
12 → Joke
What is the difference between Jurassic Park
One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs
, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie
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