39 jokes about members
48 → Joke
An old Italian Mafia
Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns
, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch
You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES
38 → Joke
A woman recently lost her husband
. She had him cremated and brought his ashes
home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?"
She answered by saying, "I bought it with the insurance money
She then said, "Irving, remember that new car you promised me?"
She answered again saying, "Well, I bought it with the insurance money!"
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, "Irving remember that blow job I promised you?
Here it comes ..."
20 → Joke
A lady in labour
is shouting the usual stuff: "Get this out of me!", "Give me the drugs!",... She turns to her boyfriend and says: "You did this to me you bastard!"
He replies casually: "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse
but you said 'Fuck Off! It'll be too painful!' Not laughing now are we!?"
47 → Joke
came up behind her husband
while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.
"I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name 'Marylou' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation."
"Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog
track? That was the name of the dog I bet on."
The next morning, his wife
snuck up on him and smacked him again.
"What was that for?" he complained.
"Your dog called last night."
12 → Joke
A man goes to see a wizard
and says: "Can you lift a curse
that was put on me years ago?"
"Maybe" says the wizard, "If you can remember the exact words of the curse."
The man replies without hesitation: "I now pronounce you as man and wife!"