Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people the same thing.1 Short jokes
A teacher asks her class: “If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”37 Little Johnny Jokes
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, ”None, they all fly away with the first gun shot”
The teacher replies: “The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.”
Then Little Johnny says: “I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied: “Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little Johnny replied: “The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.”
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.33 Man Jokes
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces?10 Man Jokes
Nothing all the good ones are taken.
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read:33 Sex JokesNext page JokesMarried Sayings
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,
AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman with no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair. The old woman said, "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted. "You don't have any hands either!" Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently. "Are you still good in bed?" With that, the old gentleman leaned back, beamed a big broad smile and said, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"