Jokes - Marriages


 


Marriages · Bitches · Sex · Married · Beer
girl,sexyTwo married Fellas, Jim and Alec were having a beer after work. Jim says: "Have you ever said something when you meant to say something else?"

"How do you mean?" said Alec.

"Well, see the other day, instead of two tickets to Pittsburgh, I asked for two pickets to Titsberg"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," said Alec. "Last week I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say 'Pass me the Sugar.' But what came out was "You bitch, you've ruined my life!!!"
2 Comments · Details
Marriages · Men · Jewelry
guys,furnitureWhy are men with pierced ears better prepared for marriage?

They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
4 Comments · Details


Marriages · Men · Parties · Cocktail Parties
man,toiletAt the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
6 Comments · Details


Marriages · Couples · Tennessee · West Virginia
couple,kissingIf a couple living together for two years in the state of Tennessee decide to relocate to the state of West Virginia, where they get married, have three children over a seven year period, and then decide to divorce, if after the man moves back to the state of Tennessee, can the couple thereafter still be referred to as brother and sister?
6 Comments · Details
Sex · Deaf · Marriages · Penises · Breasts
girl,sexyTwo deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea. Now if you want to have sex with me, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."
13 Comments · Details


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