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Marriage jokes

105 jokes about marriages



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If a couple living together for two years in the state of Tennessee decide to relocate to the state of West Virginia, where they get married, have three children over a seven year period, and then decide to divorce, if after the man moves back to the state of Tennessee, can the couple thereafter still be referred to as brother and sister?

19     → Joke


There are four kinds of sex:

HOUSE SEX: You and your spouse are newlyweds and you fuck all over the house.

BEDROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for a few years, have settled down, and only fuck in the bedroom.

HALL SEX: You and your spouse have been married for fifteen years and say, "Fuck you!" when you pass in the hall.

COURTROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for twenty years, your spouse's lawyer fucks you out of everything you've got.

34     → Joke


Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

20     → Joke


I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

41     → Joke


Why are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time.

35     → Joke



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