105 jokes about marriages
was invited for dinner
at a friend
's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife
by calling her "My Love
", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
claim that all the good men
are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands
This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.
This confirms too, that women are always confused
and don't know what they want.
The morning after an all-night honeymoon
expert virtuoso performance in bed, the somewhat amazed but blissfully happy newlywed wife snuggles up to her new hubby and says, "Darling, you are just wonderful. Last night was simply amazing. May I ask how many others were there before me?"
After a few moments of silence, the wife becomes a little testy and says, "Come on, I know there must have been some - I'm waiting."
And "Captain Experience" takes a deep breath and says, "Hang on sweetheart, I'm still counting."
There are four kinds of sex
HOUSE SEX: You and your spouse are newlyweds and you fuck
all over the house.BEDROOM
SEX: You and your spouse have been married for a few years, have settled down, and only fuck in the bedroom.
HALL SEX: You and your spouse have been married for fifteen years and say, "Fuck you!" when you pass in the hall.
COURTROOM SEX: You and your spouse have been married for twenty years, your spouse's lawyer
fucks you out of everything you've got.