105 jokes about marriages51 → Joke
19 → Joke
The angry wife
met her husband
at the door. There was alcohol
on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "Breakfast
19 → Joke
Why do men
want their brides to wear white?
Because they want their dishwasher
to match their fridge and stove!
74 → Joke
buys his wife
"I don't like it" she says, "I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."
So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker
35 → Joke
was invited for dinner
at a friend
's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife
by calling her "My Love
", "Darling", "Sweetheart
", etc., etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names
The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."