Why do men want their brides to wear white?24 Man Jokes
Because they want their dishwasher to match their fridge and stove!
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds "Wife Wanted".31 Wife Jokes
The next day, he received hundreds of replies, all reading the same thing: "You can have mine."
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker42 Wife Jokes
told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man
thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.
The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and
you would spend only $150?"
The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take
A husband buys his wife a car for Christmas ...48 Car Jokes
"I don't like it" she says, "I want some what that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."
So he comes back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker!"
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.20 Mule JokesNext page JokesMarriage Sayings
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the lady. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my husband's mule stumbled. My husband quietly said 'That's once.' We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again. Once more my husband quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time. My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him.
I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said 'That's once.'"