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Marriage jokes

104 jokes about marriages



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Husband: "Everytime I hit you, you never fight back. How do you manage your anger?"

Wife: "I clean the toilet seat!"

Husband: "How does it help?"

Wife: "I use your toothbrush!"

7     → Joke


Proposal

There are two times a man does'nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!

3     → Joke


Proposal

Married men live longer than a single men, but married men are lot more willing to die!

0     → Joke


A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. But every ten or fifteen minutes, he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look at it, then put it back in his pocket.

Finally, a friend came up to him and said: "George, I've been watching you all night, and I have to ask what's in your shirt pocket?"

"It's a picture of my wife."

"Why do you keep looking at it?"

"Because," George replied: "When she finally starts looking good, it's time to go home!"

6     → Joke


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I should take her somewhere expensive.

I took her to a petrol station!

3     → Joke



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