An old preacher
. He sent a message for his banker
and his lawyer
, both church members, to come to his home.
When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.
The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.
Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments.
They were also puzzled, the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.
Finally, the banker said: "Preacher, why did you ask us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up his strength and then weakly said: "Jesus
died between two thieves
, and that's how I want to go."
wanted a wedding
made in heaven
Versace was sent up first to get the wedding gown and decorative preparations done for the occasion.
Then D & D went on together.
Mother Teresa went next to bless the couple.
An invitation was sent to Elton John to sing at the service but somehow it was misdirected and went to John Denver instead.
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him "there is a burglar
downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us."
The husband said, "who shall I call, the police
or an ambulance
Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt.
don't need no seat belt," Ali growled.
"Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane