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Proposal

A high-school sports fan takes his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They have a great time, and their team wins. After the game, he askes his girlfriend how she enjoyed the experience. She says, "I loved it. The hot guys, the tight pants, but it made no sense to me." Confused, her boyfriend askes, "What confused you? It's pretty simple." She replies, "At the beginning of the game, they flip a quarter to see who gets the ball first. Then, the whole game they're shouting 'Get the quarterback, get the quarterback!' I mean, hellllooooo, it's just 25 cents!"

4     Short jokes


The following is a (supposedly) true story, as seen by millions of viewers on a Spanish T.V. Channel:

The parents of a teenage girl decided to put their daughter's name forward for a surprise game show. She idolized teen-age pop star Ricky Martin, and they arranged for TV cameras to be placed throughout the house. The house was then left empty with Ricky Martin hidden in the wardrobe in the girl's bedroom - all set to give the daughter a wonderful surprise.

However, upon returning home from school and finding the house empty, the daughter made her way down to the kitchen where she opened the fridge and removed a tin of pate - at this stage the live TV audience is wondering, "What the hell is going on?"

She then went back upstairs to her bedroom where she proceeded to remove all her clothes and spread pate all over her triangle of womanhood (at this stage Ricky Martin is still hidden inside the wardrobe, and half of Spain is seeing a young girl stark naked on the bed with pate all over her crotch).

As if the parents were not shocked enough by this, the daughter then calls the family dog, who obediently trots up the stairs and settles down to his favorite meal of "pate on a bed of seaweed". At this stage the order is given to cut the broadcast, leaving a very embarrassed set of parents in front of a live studio audience! Consequently, sales of tinned pate have rocketed.

11     dog jokes


A patient says: "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life'."

13     doctor jokes


Proposal

A housewife accused a maid for stealing her panties.

In her defence, she said: "Madam, I don't wear panties even if you ask sir!"

2     Short jokes


Pupil: "My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were."

Mother: "Well next time remember where you put things!"

0     pupil jokes






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