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Loss jokes

2 jokes about losses



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Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside ... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally Little Johnny in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"

30     → Joke


A man sits in a bar, reading a newspaper. Suddenly he is tapped on his shoulder by another man: "Excuse me sir, but do you know Mrs. Appleblossom?"

The man folds up his newspaper, coughs slightly and replies: "just a moment sir", after which he takes out a little black notebook. "A, A, A... [finding the name in the book] yes, actually I do know Mrs. Appleblossom.".

He puts the notebook back into his inside pocket picks up the newspaper and continues reading. The other man taps his shoulder again: "Excuse me sir, but have you been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom?"

The first gent puts the newspaper down again, finds his notebook and checks: "B, B, B... ahh, yes, I have been to bed with Mrs. Appleblossom"

He starts putting the notebook away when he once again is tapped on the shoulder: "Excuse me sir, but I am Mr. Appleblossom, and I am very disappointed"

"D, D, D... ahh... yes sir, so was I!"

20     → Joke



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