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A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice "... 13 ... 13 ... 13 ..."

The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned "... 14 ... 14 ... 14 ..."

43     Mental Jokes


How is an apple like a lawyer?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

38     Lawyer Jokes


A man stands in front of the mirror and says to his wife: "Everytime I look at myself, I get a hard-on!"

Wife replies: "That's because you look like a cunt!"

41     Mirror Jokes


A burglar broke into a home and was looking around. He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you". Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you". He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.

He asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "yes."

He asked the parrot what his name was and the parrot said, "Moses."

The burglar asked, "what kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot said, "the same kind of people who would name their pit bull Jesus".

42     Burglar Jokes


After drafting a will for an elderly client, the lawyer announced a fee of $100.

The client gave the lawyer a $100 bill.

After the client left, the lawyer saw that the client had in fact paid $200, as two of the client's $100 bills had stuck together.

Looking at the $100 overpayment, an ethical question arose in the lawyer's mind: "Do I tell my partner?"

33     Lawyer Jokes




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