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A soldier ran up to a Nun. Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt I'll explain later."

The nun accepted his request.

A moment later, two Military Police ran up and asked: "Sister have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied: "He went that way."

After the MP's ran off, the soldier crawled out under her skirt and said, 'I can't thank you enough Sister. I hope you will understand, "I don't want to go to Iraq."

The nun said: "I understand completely".

The soldier added: "I hope I am not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of ballsI don't want to go to Iraq either."

44     Soldier Jokes


Doctor: "Look, you're going to have to stop masturbating."

Patient: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

43     Doctor Jokes


A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?".

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said: "About 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?".

The barber looked around at the shop and said: "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said: "About an hour only."

The guy left. The barber turned to a friend and said: "Hey, Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back".

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked: "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said: "To your wife!"

44     Barber Jokes


Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?

They already have boyfriends.

43     Man Jokes


A man is in Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"

The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir."

Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"

42     Hospital Jokes




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