19 jokes about locks
27 cowboy jokes
in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy
coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks: "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff ... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motorhome with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt ... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants ... so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts ... so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to downtown cowboy ...'. And here I am."
15 clock jokes
A bloke takes his mates back to his new flat, after a few more beers
One of the boys asks him: "What's the big brass gong for?"
The host says: "It's my speaking clock
"How does it work?"
"I will show you" and he hits it full pelt with a club hammer!
A voice from next door yells: "For fucks sake you cunt, its twenty to three in the morning!"
16 dog jokesProposal
Why were men
given larger brains
1) So they wouldn't hump women
's legs at cocktail parties.
2) So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt!12 Short jokes
If you do not mind me saying, said the second: "That cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"
"I regret I cannot", lamented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my butt."
"I do not understand," said the other.
The first Arab says: "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out."
He said: "I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish."
I said: "No shit?"
21 breakfast jokesNext page Jokes
The angry wife
met her husband
at the door. There was alcohol
on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"
"There is." he replied, "Breakfast