Little Susie Jokes
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Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor for lacerations on his penis.

Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"

Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl, Susie. Her braces are too darned sharp."

42     Brace Jokes


It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"

47     Little Johnny Jokes


Little Susie comes home from school and tells her mum that the boys were asking her to do cartwheels and said she was very good.

Mum said: "Don't do them. The boys only want to see your knickers!"

Susie said: "I know which is why i put them in my bag!"

13     School Jokes


Proposal

Bobby walked Susie home from their date during a hot summer night. As they kissed goodbye, Bobby leaned against the front door and said, "Why don't we screw, right here and now?" Susie said, "No way, I'm not going to do that." Bobby kept pestering her, "Oh come on, just a little..." Susie kept refusing his requests. Bobby said, "Oh come on just some nookie..." The front door opened and Susie's little sister came downstairs rubbing her eyes. She said, "Daddy said to say that Bobby can screw you, or me or Daddy, but get your hand off the intercom button!"     ~ gnome de plume

0     Short jokes






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