Little - 179 jokes
35 Little Johnny jokes
was in church
with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. He had the look of obvious relief on his young face. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny?"
"I didn't have to go that far, mom. Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it: FOR THE SICK
Teacher15 Little Johnny jokes
: "You copied from Fred's exam
paper didn't you?"
: "How did you know
Teacher: "Fred's paper says 'I don't know' and you have added 'Me, neither'!"
19 Little Johnny jokes
asks his mother her age
She replies, "Gentlemen
don't ask ladies
Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"
To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.
On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.
Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"
19 love jokes
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love
him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all!
17 priest jokesNext page Jokes
One Sunday morning, the priest
noticed Little Johnny
was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names. And small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."
Little Johnny: "Good morning! Father Scott, what is this?"
Father Scott: "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service
Little Johnny: "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"