Little Johnny asks his mother her age.2 Proposal
She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.
Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."
The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"
To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.
On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.
Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"
Teacher: "I'm glad to see your writing has improved."2 Proposal
Little Johnny: "Thank you!"
Teacher: "Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!"
Teacher: "If 1+ 1 = 2 and 2+ 2 = 4, what is 4+ 4?"1 Proposal
Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"
The pre-school teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"2 Proposal
Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"
The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?"
Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue."
"That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."
Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."
The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"
Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely shit my pants."
Teacher: "Name two pronouns?"3
Little Johnny: "Who? Me?"