Little Johnny jokes

Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school?"

Little Johnny: "I don't know!"

Teacher: "Correct!"

Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland?"

Little Johnny: "A reindeer."

Teacher: "Good, now name another."

Little Johnny: "Another reindeer!"

Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago?"

Little Johnny: "Me!"

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside ... that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally Little Johnny in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says Johnny, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"

Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today."

Mother: "Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?"

Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history."

Mother: "Well, at least you can add!"