76 jokes about little johnny
73 → Joke
Johnny asks grandpa: "Do you still have sex
Grandpa says: "Yes, but only oral
Johnny asks: "What is oral?"
Grandpa says: "I say fuck
you, she says fuck you, too."
67 → Joke
Mom took Little Johnny to the doctor
for lacerations on his penis
Doctor: "How did such a thing happen?"
Johnny: "It's that damn neighbor girl
, Susie. Her braces
are too darned sharp."
43 → Joke
One day in class
brought a bag full of fruit
. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about. Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."
Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered "An apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking
." Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy, and colored red and brownish."
Well, Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy."Is it a peach?"Billy asks."No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking,"the teacher replies. Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."
By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally. "A banana," she says. "No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."
Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it's got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter
, but I like your thinking!"
46 → Joke
asked his son
, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds
and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong.
"Oh Pop," Johnny sobbed, "for me there was no Santa
Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you're telling me now that grown ups don't really have sex
, I've got nothing left to believe in!"
50 → Joke
The pretty teacher
was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love
." the boy
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom