Little Johnny wasn't getting good marks in school
. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades
, somebody is going to get a spanking!"
A Sunday School teacher
of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus
by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said, "He was born in a manger."
Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it."
Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving
down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
Little Johnny's new baby
brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"
His mother replied, "He came from heaven
Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"
Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak?"Mum
: "No it doesn't my son."
Little Johnny: "Oops, so it was a canary
that I squeezed ..."
One day, Little Susie
got her monthly bleeding
for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls