List jokes

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize you need to fart.

The music on the bus is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After A couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.

As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and looking really angry. That's when you remember you've been listening to your ipod.

Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?

1) So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
2) If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?

Who cares?

Why don't violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously order an American light bulb.