List jokes

Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?

1) So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
2) If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.

Why don't violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who cares? They're in the dark if they change the bulb or not.

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?

Who cares?

How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?

The bow is moving.