List jokes

How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who cares? They're in the dark if they change the bulb or not.

Why don't violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?

1) So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.
2) If someone mistakes them for mafia, they might get some respect.

If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?

Who cares?

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman gives birth. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says: "Not yet."

A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says: "Not yet."

Finally they say: "When can we see the baby?"

And the mother says: "When the baby cries."

So they ask: "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"

The new mother says: "I forgot where I put it!"