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What's the difference between a washing machine and a violist?

Vibrato.

5     washing machine jokes


How is lightning like a violist's fingers?

Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

16     lightning jokes


What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?

One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

11     specialist jokes


A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"

"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."

"Oh, my God!" screamed the yuppie, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "My Rolex!"

3     yuppie jokes


How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, fifty to establish the state production quota, two hundred militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously order an American light bulb.

5     light bulb jokes






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