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Proposal

A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!"

"You yuppies are so materialistic, it's ridiculous" retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off."

"Oh, my God!" screamed the yuppie, noticing the bloody stump where his arm used to be. "My Rolex!"

2     → Joke


Proposal

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!”

The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other guy will do.

The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

1     → Joke


How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They're not small enough to fit.

10     → Joke


What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?

One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

9     → Joke


How is lightning like a violist's fingers?

Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

13     → Joke


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