51 jokes about lists
24 tattoo jokes
A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend
: "I have just had a tattoo
of a sea shell on the inside of my leg at the top."
Her boyfriend gets his head between her legs and puts his ear to the tattoo and listens to the sea. "That's brilliant," he said "you can also smell the fish
15 beer jokes
There's a big conference of beer
producers. At the end of the day, the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of 'Budweiser
' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness
what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."
15 lawyer jokes10 computer jokesProposal
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers
at the bottom of the ocean
A good start! (Unless you are an environmentalist
; then you would consider this indiscriminate dumping of hazardous waste.)
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Carolyn that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.6 Short jokesNext page Jokeslist sayings
Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him, of course she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said: "Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Carolyn agreed and again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realised he now had only eight hours of life left.
He touched Carolyn's shoulder and said: "Honey? Please Just one more time.
She agreed, then afterward she rolled and fell asleep."
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and turned until it was down to only four more hours.
He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we ...?".
His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said: "Listen Barry, I'm not being funny but I have to get up in the morning and go to work while you don't!."