51 jokes about lists
50 woman jokes
HOW TO IMPRESS
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
... with beer
45 Little Johnny jokes
A third grade teacher
always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem
The first kid
sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby
... if I can, and I think I can."
The next on the list was Little Johnny
, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can ... and I think can!"
42 doctor jokes
gentleman had serious hearing
problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor
and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100 %.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I've changed my will
42 man jokes
up a steep, narrow mountain road
. A woman
is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.
If only men would listen.
23 land mine jokesNext page Jokeslist sayings
for a second time, a war
correspondent noted that since the fall of the Taliban
who used to walk ten paces behind their husbands were now walking ten paces in front. The journalist asked one of the men
if this was a sign of growing equality
"No", the man replied. "Land-mines."