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How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?

The bow is moving.

6     violist jokes


How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

Who cares? They're in the dark if they change the bulb or not.

3     light bulb jokes


Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.

and, most importantly:

Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.

5     philosophy jokes


A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?

The conductor. Business before pleasure.

4     conductor jokes


What's the definition of a minor second?

Two violists playing in unison.

2     violist jokes






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