jokes4all.net

Lip jokes

33 jokes about lips



Search




One Sunday afternoon, a guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender said, "Sorry, pal. No pets allowed."

The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see."

The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turned on the game.

The guy said, "Watch. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips." The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! That's one hell of a dog you got there. What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?" asked the bartender.

The man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him for seven years."

9     dog jokes


A patient says: "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life'."

15     doctor jokes


A man walked into a bar after just being dumped. The person serving at the time was a woman. She kept on giving him free drinks the whole night. When the bar had closed she went up to him and asked if he wanted to go upstairs for a quicky. He of course said yes and they went upstairs.

When they got there the women asked if he had any protection. He didn't have any and answered no. So she told him there was a chemist across the road and gave him $ 1.

When he got to the chemist there were a selection of condoms to choose from:

There was a tramp one for 50 p.
There was an apple flavoured one for $ 1.
And there was a metal one for $ 1.50.

As he only had one pound the man bought the apple flavoured one.

During the the night of fun the condom slipped and the lady got pregnant. The couple married and raised a son.

When he was 5 years old, he went up to his dad and cried: "Daddy why do I have green arms? This is not fair."

To this the dad replied: "I would count yourself lucky my son. If I would have had an extra 50 p you would have been Robo-Cop"

9     condom jokes


Yo momma is so old, when God said "Let there be light!" she flipped the switch.

1     yo momma jokes


Yo momma is so stupid, she puts lipstick on her forehead, because she wanted to make up her mind.

2     yo momma jokes






Next page    Jokes

lip sayings