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Light jokes

89 jokes about light



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What did the light say when it was turned off?

I'm delighted.

3     → Joke


Yo momma is so old, when God said "Let there be light!" she flipped the switch.

1     → Joke


Yo momma is so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

17     → Joke


An elderly couple is going to their doctor for a checkup. The man goes in first. "How're you doing?" asks the doctor. "Pretty good," answers the old man. "I'm eating well, and I'm still in control of my bowels and bladder. In fact, when I get up at night to pee, the good Lord turns the light on for me."

The doctor decides not to comment on that last statement, and goes into the next room to check on the man's wife. "How're you feeling?" he asks. "I'm doing well," answers the old woman. "I still have lots of energy and I'm not feeling any pain." The doctor says, "That's nice. It sounds like you and your husband are both doing well.

One thing though - your husband said that when he gets up to pee at night, the good Lord turns the light on for him. Do you have any idea what he means?" "Oh No," says the woman, "He's peeing in the refrigerator again."

33     → Joke


What's the difference between a blonde and a light bulb?

The light bulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

14     → Joke



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