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How many Ukrainians does it take to change a light bulb?

None. In Chernobyl, one just holds the bulb and it glows by itself.

16     light bulb jokes


How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes millions of years.

7     light bulb jokes


There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device ... a dildo! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I’ll explain the toy ... you explain the kids."

28     sex jokes


How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Five. One to climb the ladder, four to say "That should be me up there!"
2) None. The stunt double does it for them.

11     actor jokes


How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They're not small enough to fit.

12     light bulb jokes






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