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Light jokes

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How many college students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Will this be on the test?

18     → Joke


Just before takeoff one day, a flight attendant approached Muhammad Ali and asked that he fasten his seat belt.

"Superman don't need no seat belt," Ali growled.

"Well, Superman," the stewardess replied, "don't need no airplane!"

10     → Joke


How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) Three. One to prosecute, one to defend, one to screw it the same way they do everything else.
2) How many can you afford?

13     → Joke


Speaking of airports in Germany, the one servicing the Hamburg area is known to be staffed by a rather snooty ground control crew. They expect you to know exactly where to go and what to do, which may lead to frustration on the part of aircraft captains new to the route. This is the account of one such flight in particular, concerning a senior captain ...

"Tower, British Airways one-seven, completed rollout, awaiting further instructions."

"British Airways one-seven, this is Hamburg ground, clear to taxi to Gate Seven."

"Roger, Hamburg ground, request directions to Gate Seven."

"British Airways one-seven, have you never been to Hamburg before?"

"Yes, a number of times, Hamburg ground, in 1944, but we did not stop!"

16     → Joke


How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

1) A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.

2) None, they like to keep employees in the dark.

3) "This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile ..."

4) "We've formed a task-force to study the problem of why light bulbs burn out, and to figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder."

21     → Joke



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