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Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their lives.

The first guy said, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, Young Urban Professional."

The second guy responded, "I'm a DINK. You know, Double Income No Kids."

They then asked the woman, "What are you?"

She replied: "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

56     → Joke


Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

1) So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
2) So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.

12     → Joke


Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?

That's how dogs spend their lives.

10     → Joke


A patient says: "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life'."

16     → Joke


Don't LOOK at anything in a physics lab.
Don't TASTE anything in a chemistry lab.
Don't SMELL anything in a biology lab.
Don't TOUCH anything in a medical lab.

and, most importantly:

Don't LISTEN to anything in a philosophy department.

4     → Joke



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