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Life jokes

54 jokes about life



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The sad life a penis: "I only have one eye, my hair is a mess, my skin is wrinkly, and my relatives are nuts, my neighbor is an asshole and my best friend’s a cunt!"

8     → Joke


Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence - a life sentence.

11     → Joke


A man went to the doctor.

The doctor examined him and said: "I'm sorry to have to tell you this - but you only have three minutes left to live."

The man said: "Oh my god! Are you sure there is nothing you can do for me?"

The doctor thought for a moment then replied: "I could boil you an egg!"

31     → Joke


"Doctor doctor; I only got sixty seconds to live ..."

"Can you wait there for a minute please!"

37     → Joke


Doctor: "I have some bad news and some very bad news."

Patient: "Well, might as well give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "24 Hours! Thats terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?"

Doctor: "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

53     → Joke



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