"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.23 Shopping Jokes
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal.21 Urinal JokesProposal
The first man finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands ... clear up to his elbows ... He used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented: "I graduated from Harvard and they taught us to be clean."
The second man finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented: "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door he had a smirk on his face and said: "I don't know about you guys, but where I went to college, they taught us not to piss on our hands."
A little girl finds her dog dead with his legs in the air and she asks her dad why it's like that.10 Short jokes
Dad says: "It has died and it's like that so jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven."
The next day girl says to dad: "Mom nearly died today. She was on her back with her legs in the air shouting: 'Oh Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming and if the milkman hadn't been holding her down we would have lost her for sure!"
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?16 Dog Jokes
1) So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
2) So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
A girl comes home and says to her boyfriend: "I have just had a tattoo of a sea shell on the inside of my leg at the top."20 Tattoo JokesNext page JokesLeg Sayings
Her boyfriend gets his head between her legs and puts his ear to the tattoo and listens to the sea. "That's brilliant," he said "you can also smell the fish market!"