62 jokes about legs
had been living alone in his jungle kingdom for 25 years with only suitably shaped holes in trees for sex
, a reporter, came to Africa in search of this legendary figure.
One day, deep in the wilds, she came to a clearing and discovered Tarzan vigorously thrusting himself into a jungle oak. She watched in awe for awhile.
Finally, overcome by this display of animal passion, Jane came out in to the open and offered herself to him.
As she reclined on the wild grass, Tarzan became aroused. He quickly ran over and kicked her in the crotch really hard.
In pain, she screamed, "What the hell did you do that for?".
Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels first."
Once upon a time, a beautiful princess
happened upon a frog
in a pond.
The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince
until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss
from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel lucky for doing so."
That night the princess had frog legs for dinner.
A man went into a lawyer
's office, and demanded to see the lawyer. He was escorted into the lawyer's office.
The man needed legal help, but he knew how expensive lawyers could be, so he inquired, "Can you tell me how much you charge?"
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $500 to answer three questions
"Don't you think that's an awful lot of money
to answer three questions?"
"Yes it is", answered the lawyer, "What's your third question?"
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote
control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV
remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband
refused to come shopping
with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."